How Can One Develop a Good Sense of Humor?

Last Updated on 1 month by Saiful Islam

Humor has always fascinated me. There’s something magical about how a shared laugh can break down barriers and make even the most awkward situations feel less overwhelming.

But as an introvert, I often found the idea of being “funny” intimidating. It seemed like humor was a skill reserved for extroverts—those who could effortlessly crack jokes and get people laughing in an instant. It took me some time to realize that humor is a skill anyone can develop—even introverts.

In this blog post, I’m sharing my journey, step by step, to develop my sense of humor.

I want to help you cultivate your humor skills in a way that feels natural, comfortable, and true to who you are.

Because, let’s face it, a good sense of humor makes life much more enjoyable.

My Journey: From Awkward Silence to Awkwardly Funny

I used to blank out when asked, “Tell us a funny story!” It wasn’t that I lacked a funny bone; it was more that my natural humor was observational and took time to process. I’d freeze up in fast-paced social scenarios, feeling hopelessly out of place with my delayed wit.

But I made a decision. Being the wallflower wasn’t serving me; a stronger sense of humor could be my social superpower.

So, I embarked on a quest (a decidedly introverted quest, mind you) to understand humor and apply it to my life.

Why Humor Matters: It’s More Than Just Laughs

The Benefits of Having a Good Sense of Humor

A good sense of humor isn’t just about making others laugh; it has many more profound benefits.

For me, humor has been a way to cope with stress and navigate social situations without feeling overwhelmed. It helps me build connections, bond with others, and lighten up the everyday stresses that sometimes feel all-consuming.

Research shows that humor has physical health benefits, too—it can improve cardiovascular health, lower stress hormones like cortisol, and even boost the immune system. It’s like an instant shot of positivity, making everything feel more manageable.

Studies from the Mayo Clinic highlight that laughter releases endorphins—those feel-good chemicals that help reduce anxiety and promote well-being. You can check out more about the health benefits of humor in articles by the Mayo Clinic.

However, the best part of developing a sense of humor is the connections it helps build. Shared laughter brings people closer together, even if you don’t thrive in extensive social settings. It’s a bridge that makes interactions more enjoyable and helps others see you as approachable.

Different Types of Humor: Finding Your Style

Self-Deprecating Humor: Laughing at Yourself

One of the most accessible forms of humor, especially if you’re an introvert, is self-deprecating humor.

This type of humor involves making light jokes about your quirks and imperfections—things that make you human. It helps others see you as relatable and takes some pressure off by showing that you don’t take yourself too seriously.

For instance, I often joke about my awkwardness in social situations. Once, while trying to open a door that I assumed was automatic (it wasn’t), I ended up just standing there, waiting.

I laughed at myself and shared the story with friends later. It was a small, funny moment, but it showed that I could embrace and make light of my mistakes. Self-deprecating humor is easy to ease tension, especially when things are unplanned.

Internal Link: To explore different types of humor and how they can help build relationships, check out Humor Styles and Their Impact on Relationships.

Observational Humor: Noticing the Details

Another type of humor that works well for introverts is observational humor. This type of humor comes from noticing the quirks and details of everyday life and pointing them out in a funny way. You don’t need to make up jokes—life provides plenty of material.

For example, I like to point out the small ironies I see daily. For instance, I saw a squirrel trying to carry an entire slice of pizza up a tree or how people scramble in a grocery store when a single announcement about discounts is made. The little things make people smile because they’ve experienced those exact moments.

Observational humor is especially significant because it doesn’t require you to be the center of attention. You’re simply sharing something funny you’ve noticed, which can help others see things from your perspective.

Affiliative Humor: Creating Connections

Affiliative humor is about making others feel good, sharing jokes that bring people together, and creating a positive atmosphere. It’s the kind of humor that doesn’t come at anyone’s expense and is perfect for building connections.

For introverts, this means focusing on light-hearted topics—something that everyone can relate to, like the joys of finding the perfect parking spot or how we all have that one drawer filled with random items that we swear we’ll organize someday.

Internal Link: Learn more about how humor helps build relationships in our detailed post on The Role of Humor in Social Interactions.

Practical Steps to Develop Your Sense of Humor

Surround Yourself with Humor

The first step I took towards developing my humor was to surround myself with comedy. I started watching funny TV shows, listening to podcasts, and reading books by comedians.

One of my favorite things was watching stand-up specials and observing how comedians used timing and delivery. The more I exposed myself to different humor styles, the more I understood how jokes were structured.

This approach, often called a “humor media diet,” helps expand your understanding of humor styles. You can try watching different types of comedy—stand-up, sitcoms, funny movies—and see what makes you laugh.

The more diverse the humor you consume, the better you understand what fits your style. A study from the University of Colorado found that exposure to diverse comedic content helped people become better at generating humor themselves.

Practice Laughing at Yourself

One of the most valuable things I learned is not to take myself too seriously. Life is full of awkward moments, and if we let them bother us, we miss out on their humor.

I practice self-deprecating humor when things don’t go as planned. It’s about looking at and laughing at those situations rather than getting embarrassed or frustrated.

For example, if I mispronounce a word during a conversation, instead of turning red, I might laugh and say, “I guess I was trying to invent a new language there!” It makes others laugh and takes the pressure off.

Take Improv or Comedy Writing Classes

I know this sounds like a big step, but trust me, it’s more fun than it sounds. Improv classes teach you to think on your feet and spontaneously respond.

The beauty of improv is that it doesn’t have to be perfect. It’s about embracing the absurd and having fun with it.

Comedy writing can be an excellent alternative for those who prefer to plan. Writing jokes gives you the chance to craft them at your own pace. You don’t have to stand in front of an audience right away.

I tried writing short, funny stories, which helped me understand comic wordplay and timing. Local improv theaters and comedy writing workshops are great places to start.

External Link: To learn more about the benefits of improv in building humor skills, check out this article from The Second City.

Find Your Comedic Tribe

The saying “you are the company you keep” also applies to humor. Spending time with people with good humor can help you develop yours.

I learned so much by hanging out with naturally funny friends. It wasn’t about copying them but understanding their perspective and learning how they saw humor in different situations.

Try to befriend people who make you laugh. Observe what kinds of jokes they make and how they deliver them. Sometimes, being around humorous people helps you naturally pick up on their comedic timing and delivery.

Practice Storytelling

Humor is often about telling a story. You can turn a simple event into something hilarious with the right timing and delivery.

I started practicing by telling stories to close friends—funny things that happened during my day, like when my cat mistook a sock for a mouse and launched into a full-scale attack.

When telling stories, could you focus on the details that make it funny? Set the scene, add dialogue, and build up to a humorous climax. Practicing in front of friends helps you gauge what works and refine your delivery.

Internal Link: For more tips on becoming a better storyteller, visit Humor and Storytelling: A Guide to Making People Laugh.

Example: My Go-To Moves

• The Exaggeration Extravaganza: “I’m so tired, I could sleep through an earthquake…and a marching band.”
• Quirky Observation: “Why do they call it rush hour when traffic moves slower than a snail with a limp?”
• Self-Deprecating Delight: “My coordination is so bad, I could trip over my thoughts.”

Overcoming Common Obstacles in Developing Humor

Social Anxiety and Overthinking

If you’re like me, social anxiety can make the thought of trying to be funny in front of people feel daunting.

What if they don’t laugh?

What if it comes out wrong?

These questions can easily cause us to shut down instead of experimenting with humor.

One way to overcome this is to start minor—try out jokes or funny comments with people you feel comfortable with.

Don’t worry if they don’t all land; humor is about practice, and even professional comedians have jokes that flop.

Don’t Force It: Authenticity is Key

Another thing I learned is not to force humor. The most effective humor comes naturally. If you try too hard, it can come across as awkward or forced.

Instead, focus on sharing things that genuinely make you laugh. Authentic humor is always more impactful.

For instance, if you’re in a situation where things are getting tense, try pointing out something light-hearted that’s happening.

It could be how everyone seems fidgeting simultaneously or the awkwardness of waiting for an elevator.

Observational humor is excellent because it comes from noticing the small details that others might not.

The Power of Humor: Bringing It All Together

Humor as a Tool for Connection

Humor is an incredible tool for connection, especially for introverts like me, who sometimes find traditional social settings overwhelming. A shared laugh can turn a stiff conversation into a meaningful interaction.

Humor makes you more approachable and helps others feel at ease around you.

It’s also a fantastic way to reframe situations. Life can be challenging, and challenges can sometimes feel endless.

Learning to find the lighter side of life—whether through self-deprecating jokes, observational humor, or just finding something silly to laugh about—can make those challenges seem a little less daunting.

Practice Makes Perfect—And That’s Okay

Developing a sense of humor isn’t about becoming a professional comedian or being the funniest person in the room. It’s about finding what makes you laugh and learning to share that humor with others.

The more you practice, the more confident you become. And before you know it, humor becomes a part of how you interact with the world—a way to connect, cope, and bring a little more joy to everyday life.

Learn More >> If you’re interested in exploring humor styles and how they impact your relationships, check out our post on Exploring Humor Types and Their Cultural Implications.

The Bottom Line

Whether you’re telling funny stories, making jokes about yourself, or simply sharing something silly you noticed, humor can be an excellent way to make life more enjoyable.

Developing a sense of humor takes time. There will be awkward moments, but those funny, off-the-cuff remarks will start to flow with practice. 

As an introvert, you might never be the one dancing on tables, but you can make witty observations from the sidelines – and that’s pretty awesome, too.

Let me know how these tips work for you, and remember – a little laughter goes a long way!

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) About Developing a Good Sense of Humor